My Heart Will Not Come Off

As I pulled the door closed behind me, my brow furrowed into canyons of confusion.  I was leaving my senior managers’ office, over fifteen years ago. Ten minutes of solid praise that had me standing taller and glowing, right until the moment he asked me to do...

Chewing Gum and Frankenstein

It’s Halloween.  A time for ghouls, vampires, witches, pumpkins and pedants gnawing their own tongues off whenever someone mentions Frankenstein.  You see, Frankenstein is the name of Mary Shelley’s doctor, not their green bolted creation.  If you Google...

Are You A Victoria Sponge?

A Victoria Sponge is a classic yet unremarkable cake.  It has none of the hipster cool of cupcakes swirled with elaborate toppings, none of the naughty indulgence of a rich chocolate cake and none of the warming comfort of fruit cake.  It’s a simple vanilla...

The Moment Before You Speak

On Tuesday this week I was delighted to be speaking at Bettakultcha again – this time at a new venue, Belgravia Music Hall in Leeds.  I have snaked the microphone lead beneath my top (as the tech guy averted his gaze), clipped on the mic and put the battery/...

Being Funny Is Like Being A Lady

Margaret Thatcher once said these immortal words “Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell someone you are, you aren’t.” And the same is true of being funny.  If you say you’re the next Sarah Millican, people are likely to roll...

It’s No Kind of Magic

‘It’s the Magic Shop!‘ shout my children as we drive past.  There’s an image of a top hat and cane (they think it’s a wand) outside, so Abracadabra, it’s a magic shop. It’s not a magic shop… It is called Snooty’s,...
The Art of Shouting Quietly

The Art of Shouting Quietly

My eyes were meadering aimlessly over the fonts and designs at the bookstore and BANG!  This title with two words that shouldn’t be together, grabbed my attention.  “The Art of Shouting Quietly”.  After hundreds of bookcovers that rendered me bored,...
No Zzz’s Required

No Zzz’s Required

There I was on a train, drawing Lucy dozing in a hammock, eyes closed and the woman next to me starts a conversation. “Are you a professional artist?” Interesting question. I pondered the possible meaning behind that – what does she mean by a professional...
Mirror Mirror On the Cloud

Mirror Mirror On the Cloud

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?  Do you see the real you – the truth of you?  Do you see how brilliant you are, the treasures within, the genius that lies in your heart and soul?  Do you recognise what is amazing about you? Are you able to look at...
Your Mojo Is Not in the Fridge

Your Mojo Is Not in the Fridge

Ever opened the fridge, stared at the contents within and then after a few minutes of idle staring, shut it again?  Ditto a bottle of wine (not staring, probably drinking it), or buying something you don’t need on eBay.. The thing you are looking for will never...